In advance, before I begin, I am not judging or do I think that what I know is right for me is right for everyone, but I want those out there who needed to hear this as much as I did to know that you are not the only one.
Before I was pregnant, I always thought I would work at least one day a week when I had kids. Working just enough to keep up my license. But I always thought I would work, despite having a mother that didn't work and siblings that didn't work. When I got pregnant, new thoughts formed and through research I realized what it meant to go back to work. When I had my son, Wes, I knew there was no way I could go back to work. A second income would be nice. My husband is in the early years of his career and although he makes enough to support us, I don't get to go out and spend as much as I want to! you know?
It was a hard decision when I decided to not go back to work. I cried a little, knowing all the hard work I put into my education and the years I worked that added to my experience. It is not easy losing your license as a Dental Hygienist. They make you jump through a lot of hoops if you ever want it back again. Nevertheless, after prayer and discussion with my husband we decided it was the right thing.
Ever since that decision was made, I have been looking for opportunities to bring in income to add a little spending money. I thought about all those pyramid schemes... or picking back up photography.... I even put a number of things on Kijiji hoping for some more discretionary money for Christmas. Until recently.
These past few weeks I have had this internal battle about social media. Is it good? Is it bad? Do I choose to follow everyone or selective in what I allow to enter into my home? This has been a struggle for me while I think about raising a boy. How do I want to raise him?
I felt like social media was showing me all these moms juggling jobs, hobbies and children and they looked like they were so put together... there I was sitting at home, emotional, wondering why leaving the house 2 or 3 times a week was so hard on me!
Shortly after a conversation with my husband about completely getting rid of social media and electronics in our home. (I know.... over reaction.) I was on Instagram and a photo shocked me. It wasn't a photo I wanted to see or my husband to see. I continued to scroll through my feed and the very next photo was a picture of a dear friends children playing near a window. Sun rays were shining down on them and she quoted,
"and above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Ronald Dahl
Shivers ran through my body. I loved that picture and that quote. She likened the playfulness of her children to magic. I am so grateful to have friends like her to remind me why social media is good,
to share goodness.
I messaged my family shortly after to tell them how truly grateful I was for their examples. I have 7 sisters and one brother who married an amazing woman and I have the best mother. So many great examples of motherhood in my life. They show me everyday what it means to be a mother and the sacrifice it takes, but the blessings and rewards it brings.
My sister-in-law messaged back this:
"Last weekend in Vegas, Matt and I were like a circus
act. Every time we were introduced to someone new, we were introduced as
Matt and Shannon-they have 6 kids!! Everyone was shocked, and we got a
lot of teasing- which doesn't bother me.
I was visiting with another lady, who doesn't have kids, and said they
never will, and she asked me what I like to do for fun. I honestly
didn't know how to answer that question. I had just gotten done telling
her about my kids, and all the things they were doing- piano, football,
basketball, cubs, church activities, cheer...
When she asked me that, I paused, and quickly mumbled I exercise and I
enjoy reading. And I felt dumb. I felt like, wow! Who am I? I have no
interests outside my family. And I left feeling bad about that.
But the more I've thought about it, the more I realize, my family IS my
hobby! I love watching my kids grow and learn. I love watching them
play sports. I love watching and coaching Kadie's cheer. I love to see my
kids learn to play the piano. I love bringing my kids to youth activities because I
know that their testimonies are being strengthened. I love going to
church with my family, and growing in the gospel. I love seeing Matt sit
on the stand in church and knowing that he is a righteous man.
So, no, I don't have a million hobbies that revolve around me. I don't
take a pottery class. I don't go to yoga. I don't have a girls night
every week. But I'm okay with that! Because right now my hobby is an
investment in the future. I hope to see my kids all grow up. I hope to
see them all marry righteous people. I hope to see them have children of
their own, and to teach those children and raise them in righteousness.
And I know that all the sleepless nights, all the dirty diapers, all
the worry about teenagers, all the dishes I do, are a part of my hobby.
And honestly, I'd rather be doing this than any yoga class, or girls
night!"
I only have one. But man! After reading that, I want 6 kids! Really though, how many times do I struggle to tell someone what my hobby is. I always say, well it used to be this..... or I'm sure if I had time it would be this....
I am grateful for the opportunity I have to stay home with my boy and that I can teach him and help him learn and grow. I love that his future is my hobby and that is all I need to do and focus on. I am grateful that my husband works hard so that I can stay home.
I just wanted to end with a quote my sister sent me:
"People ask me what did I do for myself? What can I
say? Everything I did was for myself. This job, being the mother of
these four remarkable people, was what I most wanted to do. I did yearn
for time alone (and got it), and I did want and need adult
companionship. But I also wanted my life to be spiritual. Over the
course of raising four children I learned to meet my own needs. I used
my outer life as the medium for creating my inner life. That's what I
did for myself. I did not feel I was making great sacrifices, giving
away all of me to my children. I had the job I most wanted and found
ways to make it satisfying."
- Esther Leisher
